Looking for nothing in particular[o]

[Venom]

Moth slithered through the odds and ends of two-leg stuff. She had agreed to join Hinder's CrimsonClan, or whatever he was calling it. Revenge was sweet, just like her. Suddenly Moth felt flirty. Now she just needed someone to flirt with. If a tom came around she would be pleased. If a she-cat came instead, she would be fine with it, at least it would be someone to talk to. The pretty she-cat sat on an old broken down fridge high upon a garbage pile, hoping to attract some sort of attention.

[jinxeh]

How long had it been since he slept in his nice warm, cosy den back in ThunderClan? It had to have been at least a moon. The tom hated to admit it, but he misses the stuffy little den. It smelled better than this field full of Two-Leg stuff at least. But this had it's benefits, there was no Skystar to mess up his life. He shuddered at the thought of that fox dung being the leader of the Clan that was rightfully his. It made his skin crawl and it boiled his blood, making him see red. Hinder couldn't wait to sink his claws, and teeth deep into that disgusting excuse for a cat.

Losing his footing on a cold, dull, slippery thing, he let out a yowl and found himself falling to the ground. Heart rising into his throat, he twisted his large body in the air, but not fast enough for his shoulder struck the ground, with the rest of his body very soon to follow. His ribs were next to strike, sending all the air out of his body and causing him to gasp for breath. Eyes tearing up as he took in gulps of air to relieve the tension in his chest, his eyes caught sight of a pretty she-cat seated upon a large white thing. If his mind didn't deceive him, she was a former RiverClan cat from what he had gathered, though she had been a rogue for awhile.

Coughing as he stood up, he shook the nasty smelling two leg bile out of his dark tabby pelt. Still trying to catch his breath, he made his way over to where Moth was seated, and propelled himself onto the pile of junk behind her. Clearing his throat he came up beside her, though he did not set foot on the giant white thing on which she was seated.

"Hello Moth; how are you today?"

[/color] His voice was calm, and sweet, the usual tone it took when he was speaking to a she-cat. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/blockquote]

[Venom]

Moth tilted her head at the CrimsonClan leader. He was obviously struggling with the change from the comfortable clan life to the rough, ragged life of a rogue. "Hello Hinder. I am doing fine. Thank you for asking." She said. Her silky voice was dripping with honey. She blinked her bright green eyes. "How have you been?" She smiled at him.

The she-cat stood up and slid closer to the edge of the two-leg thing. Moth did not enjoy not being able to face whoever she was speaking to. The she-cat ran a paw over her dark brown face. Moth wondered what had brought the leader to her.

[jinxeh]

Observing the way she was sitting, Hinder adjusted his position upon the pile of junk. She was a pretty she-cat, he was not ashamed to admit this in the least. He was always a sucker for the good looking ladies around the forest, or around the junk yard. A smile touched his lips as she responded to his question, her voice drawing him in. It was sweet, and sugary, just what he liked. Her voice reminded him of his mothers, sweet, and gentle, soothing. His heart ached, a pang of regret for leaving the Clan. But he pushed that thought from his mind swiftly, he could not feel that for her, it was more weakness that he didn't need to experience.

As she looked at him with her big green eyes, he couldn't help but grin larger. Glancing down at her paws, he let his eyes slowly rise up her body as she spoke to him, asking him a similar question to the one which he had asked. Hinder stopped. How had he been? It would be a lie to tell her that he was good, or that he was fine. No, he was far from either; more like scared, hurt, lost. He had no idea what he was doing out here, why he had attacked Skystar. Nothing made sense to him anymore. But he could never tell her that. He was supposed to be her strong, and noble leader, who was going to lead all of CrimsonClan on the way to greatness...

"I've been fairly good, all things considered."

[/color] He chuckled lightly, with a flick of his ear. If there was one thing he was good at, it was lying. He had lied to his father all those moons, and lied to his mother about being good, or not feeling lonely. He had lied to his deputy, telling him that things were going well. Yes, Hinder had always been a magnificent liar. "Still getting used to there poor living conditions, and living off of an empty belly." [/color]This time, his words were met with a shrug of his shoulders and a down cast gaze.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/blockquote]

[Venom]

"It will get easier the longer you're here." Moth said, sympathetic smile included. "I promise." She had been here for a few moons and was used to the smell, the lack of prey and comfortable dens. During her first moon here, she had been miserable and regretful. She wished she had never had those kits, she had never thought she had loved those clan cats. But she quickly got over it.
"It is hard at first." She admitted."Especially when you are alone, like I was." She ended her words with an overly dramatic, elongated sigh. The she-cat's eyes fell to her paws in desperation. Drama was her specialty.

[jinxeh]

Hinder watched the she-cat intently as she spoke to him. He reckoned she was right, you know, the whole getting easier to live in poor conditions, but he didn't want to be told that. Hinder would much rather experience his life getting easier again. Cocking his head to the side as she told him that she promised, Hinder shot his gaze away from her to look out over the vast mountains of cold, hard stuff that were obviously two-leg made.

How could she promise something like that? What if it never got easier, and it killed him? What would his mother say when she found out that her son was dead? What would Skystar say if he found out that Hinder had succumbed to the rough life of a rogue? He would think him weak. A dark scowl touched his face as he looked back at Moth.

"I'm not alone though. I have my new Clan. This shouldn't be so hard!"

[/color] A growl at made it's way into his speech, the side effect to thinking about Skystar. Standing up he climbed to the top of the pile and stood tall and proud looking to the forest in the distant.

"Have you ever lost something that was your everything? have you ever had it ripped from her paws in the blink of an eye?"[/color] The growl had faded, but it had left the sound of pain strangling his words. Pain clouded his eyes as he thought about his mom back at the camp worrying about him and what he was doing. She was what he missed the most. His mother meant everything to him.

"Tell me when this is supposed to get easier!" Yowling to the sky, Hinder dropped his head, letting the pain overwhelm him. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[Venom]

"I never said you were alone." She said.
Moth cringed at his words, the words of having something taken from her. She didn't know when it would get better. When she first arrived she had her kits. Hunting and caring for four was a lot harder than caring for herself. Moth couldn't handle it. The rare prey made it hard for her to get food, which made her weak. When she was weak she couldn't hunt as well. Then she found that rogue she-cat who had recently lost her litter.Moth let the strange she-cat care for her litter until they reached eight moons when they left, never to be heard from again. Her kits hated her,for letting the other cat take them. They didn't know what she did was for their own good.
"Maybe it's hard because you let it be." She said, her voice grew sympathetic. "If you accept the rogue life,if you embrace it, it may get easier." The she-cat looked up at him, her green gaze soft and caring. "But nothing is certain."
The lithe brown cat's eyes fell to her paws. "I suppose I can promise nothing, except that I will follow you into battle against the clans, no mater what."

[jinxeh]

A scowl took over his handsome features. The nerve the she-cat had, speaking to him as if he had any idea at all what he was going through. Hinder's brow furrowed with discontent as she cringed at his tone. He was losing his temper, and he couldn't help but feel as if he was failing to show her that he was a worthy leader. That was a great way to start off a Clan. Hinder closed his eyes hard as she opened her mouth to speak again, taking in her words with a grain of salt. He didn't want this to be hard, why would he want that? So that he had something to complain about? No, he wasn't going to accept that. Hinder shook his head and opened his eyes.

"I'm technically not a rogue ... I am your leader, and we have a Clan. I know I'm not alone. But sometimes it's easier to believe that I am alone." Hinder shrugged his shoulders keeping his gaze steady, and trying to focus his mind so that he didn't completely lose his temper and take it out on the pretty she-cat who had agreed to be one of their warriors. Not looking at her, Hinder sighed. "And I thank you for standing by me. StarClan may frown on my actions, but that scum of a tom took everything away from me, without the satisfaction of taking my life, too" Flicking his tail, the large tom let his eyes find Moth. "What have you lost in your life Moth." It wasn't a question it was a statement.

[Venom]

[b"]I had kits once, they are half-clan, but they were still mine."

[/b]She said not recognizing it wasn't really a question. Moth's eyes brimmed with sadness and hurt. "They came with me, when I left the clan. Once I was here, I couldn't keep them. We were starving." She stopped momentarily to try and gain strength to continue her story. "I found a rogue queen who recently lost her kits, she could care for them better than I could. She was willing to take them, and I let her. My kits hated me and refused to see me. They didn't know what I did, was for there own good." Her voice cracked. She narrowed her eyes at him, refusing the tears that wanted to fall. "You don't know how hard it is not knowing if they are alive or dead, if they are alright." Moth sat up straight, her back rigid. "The pain I felt, no that I feel, is something worse than death itself."Her head fell to her feet in utter dispair. "I'm sorry." She stammered.[/blockquote]

[jinxeh]

His large green, mesmerizing eyes rolled up into his head as she opened her mouth to speak. She was a beautiful she-cat, but she sure wasn't the brightest. However, the context in which she spoke. The tom was hesitant to show any kind of emotion towards the she-cat, whether it be pity or annoyance. For him, rogues had always been untrustworthy, and manipulative. He couldn't look at her, he didn't want to believe what she was saying.

How could kits hate their mother? A mother brought them into the world, nourished them, kept them safe, and loved them. Hinder couldn't even begin to fathom the idea of hating his mother. She was too good a cat to hate. She had always been there for him even when he was fighting with his father, and ignoring him. Catching her voice crack, his eyes flashed up to hers, and his heart broke when he seen the rim of moisture along the bottom of her pretty eyes.

Moving out of instinct rather than conscious thought, Hinder moved to her side and pressed his strong, muscular body against her pelt in comfort. No, he didn't know what that feeling was like; he had the luxury of knowing his mother and father were still alive. Hinder usually wasn't the kind of cat to show affection or sympathy for anyone, but this was a different situation.

"Don't apologize please. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry for raising my voice to you."

[/color] Hinder spoke very softly, husky and caring and he let his chest erupt into a light purr. "I'm sorry for your loss. Have you ever looked for your kits?"[/color] It was probably a stupid question, but he felt it was needed to be asked. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[Venom]

"The way I see it is if they wanted to be found, they would come and find me.If I did look for them, I wouldn't even know where to start." Moth said. She felt rather uncomfortable in this situation, speaking about her past and her kits. She she cat blinked a once again refused the tears that wanted to fall so terribly. She ran a paw over her pretty face. She wondered if Hinder thought of her as weak, so close to breaking down. She took a deep, heavy breath. "I am sorry for burdening you with my troubles. The past is called the past for a reason, right?"Moth didn't quite agree with what she had said. It made her feel a little better telling someone about her missing children.

[jinxeh]

His emerald gaze stayed steady on her pretty face, this cat was interesting. She was so graceful and poised, yet she knew pain. Hinder admired for the way she carried herself despite the fact. Moth was stronger than he was; emotionally at least. Hinder was terrible at controlling his feelings, and the pain that he felt. His anger always got the better of him in usual situations when the pain got too much for him to handle.

Sighing as she responded to his question, Hinder found himself at a loss for words. What did one say to a situation like hers? He had never experienced the loss of a litter to circumstances beyond his control, or in any manner for that matter. It would be easier if your kits were with StarClan, but not knowing either way? Hinder was surprised she hadn't gone mad. Hinder chuckled at her next words before answering.

"Again, don't apologize Moth. I'm your Clan leader, I'm here to help you understand your pain; to help you channel it into revenge and power." A glint of blood thirst gleamed in his eyes as he spoke to her. That's what CrimsonClan was all about; revenge. For him, it was about destroying Skystar and reclaiming his rightful place as ThunderClan leader. For Slash? To get back at ShadowClan. Everyone else's reasons were really of no material to him, but if they led to their success, he didn't really care what drove them to murder.